Girl Scouts want us to be fat
I seriously think the Girl Scouts of America are the source of the obesity problem in this country.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure that camping and visiting nursing homes is important and valuable development experience for young girls across the country.
But the cookies!
I don’t even really like food that much. As far as food goes, I really consume out of necessity. Sure, I have my favorite foods and all, but if I’m occupied with something I can go for hours without stopping for snack.
Girl Scout cookies, however, are laced with something addictive.
I can eat an entire sleeve of Thin Mints in one sitting.
Worse still, I could eat an entire box of Samoas. Oh, Samoas, my favorite of all time.
That’s 1200 calories, for the Samoas. And 64 grams of fat (or roughly 96% of my recommended daily intake). And those “healthy” Thin Mints aren’t much better: 675 calories and a mere 32 grams of fat.
I swear, there are no more in the house.
Because I ate them.
All.
3 Responses to Girl Scouts want us to be fat
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http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2004351728_cookies16.html
Look, even some girl scouts are on your side… although for slightly more altruistic reasons.
funniest.post.ever.
great use of “sleeve”
new found respect for you and your writing
I sometimes dream of someone tilting my head back and funneling Thin Mints down my gluttonous gullet. Of course, then I’d have to be taken out of my house by a crane Gilbert Grape-style, but. Perhaps we can help each other out.
A boy can dream.